How to Find Your People

A guide to local groups for expanding your social circle

By Carin Hall

Why is it so hard to make new friends as an adult? 

For me, it’s not so hard to meet new and interesting people, but it is hard to juggle schedules and other responsibilities that lead to perpetual rainchecks or anxiety over what to do. That’s where pre-scheduled groups/clubs/meetups come in. 

Friendship in America has been on the decline for years, and the pandemic only made things worse. By 2021, a surprising 12% of Americans said they didn't have any close friends, compared to just 3% thirty years ago. This drop in friendships isn’t just sad—it can seriously affect your health. Loneliness and social isolation are connected to higher risks of depression, anxiety, heart disease, and even stroke. It’s important to note that both quality and quantity matter: research shows that it takes about 200 hours to build a close friendship. 

To make a positive change without too much commitment or pressure, consider finding a group that meets somewhat regularly. To get started, here’s a diverse list of options to inspire you to expand your social circle while doing something you enjoy. There are many more out there (and we invite you to share them with us) but hope this serves as a good jumping-off point. 

(Please check the schedules online or on social media pages, as those tend to change throughout the year and in accordance with the weather). 

Book Club

Let’s Talk Books! at Pleasure Island: There are no assigned books, but rather discussions with fellow book lovers about their current and favorite reads. 

ILM Silent Book Club: For another non-assigned reading club with even less pressure, this “silent” version provides spaces at various businesses for attendees to read in companionable silence and/or chat. Organized by Nancy Smith, the club also hosts events like “buddy reads” and holiday-themed crafts. 

Other options include the monthly CORE Bookworms Book Club for Seniors (55+) at the Main Library downtown; Island Readers Book Club (19+) at the Pleasure Island Library; and Next Chapter Book Club (through Coastal BUDS), a program that makes literature accessible to everyone, including non-readers.

Additionally, many independent bookstores around town host special genre book clubs, including Papercut Books, Beach Read Books, and Port City Book Club. 

Active Lifestyle

Wrightsville Beach Surf Mamas, a group of nearly 300 local women, empowers mothers to reconnect with their passions and build community through surfing. Founded in 2018 as a Facebook group, it now offers regular surf sessions, lessons, moms' nights out, and childcare trades. The group helps mothers overcome postpartum challenges and regain confidence. Plans include surf retreats in the Outer Banks and Puerto Rico, with hopes of expanding along the North Carolina coast. Their success lies in member input, inclusive meetups, and support for all skill levels.

Krysten Gross revitalized a dormant Wilmington walking group in July by renaming it Wilmy Walks for All and hosting her first walk at the Wrightsville Beach Loop. The group, aimed at helping women in their mid-to-late twenties connect without relying on social drinking, now hosts four monthly walks at various scenic locations. Gross plans events year-round, collaborates with charities, and encourages new members to join, emphasizing the supportive and welcoming nature of the group.

The Greater Wilmington Tennis Association has nearly 3,200 members, including players from nearby towns like Leland. Members join teams and compete with players of similar age and skill. With a “no player left behind” approach, GWTA welcomes all ages, skill levels, and those with special needs, offering lessons, matches, and events year-round.

“We take complete beginners and turn them into league players through a progression of sequential clinics… These folks are now involved in a healthy sport, they are making new friendships, and all of this has a positive impact on their daily life,” says GWTA’s Community Coordinator Candy Pegram.

If pickleball is more your vibe, check out Cape Fear Pickleball Club.  

For the running-inclined, there are several options with varying scheduled events and group jogs (with stops at breweries or coffee shops), depending on what you’re into. Check out: Wilmington Road Runners, Wilmington Run Club, Wilmington Road Runners Club (Facebook), Wilmington Brewing Run Club, and Hi-Wire’s Run Club with Fleet Feet (where you’ll also find a weekly Ping Pong Club). 

For the water-inclined, consider groups like the Wrightsville Beach Outrigger Canoe Club, the Cape Fear Kayakers (on Meetup), or one of the several fishing communities like Cape Fear Anglers or Female Fishing Fanatics (both on Facebook).

Personally, I’ve been enjoying learning to skate in the most air-conditioned venue in town, Polar Ice Wilmington, which offers classes for beginners to more advanced figure skaters, and hockey leagues for any age. 

Cooking

For anyone looking to improve their culinary skills or to learn more about wine in a fun environment, the Cape Fear Food & Wine Club (CFFWC) offers several classes, pairing events, camps and special events. 

What sets Julia Castellano’s artisanal bakery apart from most is the last part in her business name: Little Loaf Bakery & Schoolhouse. She regularly hosts bread-making workshops (which go quickly) and welcomes other artisans to use the space to teach other classes like cake decorating and creating seasonal treats. 

“It’s been so cool to see how the community has responded,” she says. “People are more interested in homesteading now than ever. Trades and arts are so important, and I want to be able to facilitate and provide a space for that, where people can come together to learn.”

Sober-Conscious

Fronting Life is a nonprofit that supports recovering persons with a community-centered approach. They host weekly events like “Monday Mindfulness” and “Conscious Connecting,” as well as workshops and community events. 

Gardening

The Hobby Greenhouse Club hosts monthly meetings, tours and field trips for a small annual membership fee. 

The Wilmington Cape Fear Rose Society (WCFRS) provides rose gardening tips at monthly meetings and guest speakers advise the group on various aspects of rose culture and maintenance. 

“Most gardeners are very social. I always tell people that the nicest people in the world are gardeners,” says Denise Miller, president of WDFRS.

Arts/Crafts

Craft Studio

Ally Almeida runs Craft Studio, a monthly craft-centered workshops hosted at businesses around town. Workshops include collage making, tote bag painting, block printing, cake decorating and more. (Check Instagram for event announcements).

“When I first moved here, I was having a hard time making friends since I work remotely,” says Almeida. “I started hosting a monthly cookbook club at home and built friendships, and then I thought ‘This is so nice, I wish I had something like this when I first moved here.’ And that started the idea for Craft Studio.”

Bookworm Pottery hosts several pottery classes and workshops at its studio in the Cargo District. From a fun date night adventure to family-friendly hands-on clay classes to courses to help you get comfortable with a pottery wheel, Bookworm has something for everyone, regardless of experience with clay or limited time to learn something new.  

“One of the many things I love about pottery is that you can’t really fail,” says owner Ashley Merklinger. “You can always reuse the clay or keep working it until you create something you like.”

I was also able to find a few Facebook groups with regular meetups like Sip and Scribble Art Club, Urban Sketchers Wilmington, Wilmington Art Group and Plein Air Painters of Wilmington.  

Women's Interest

The Women's Social Club^® (WSC) is a membership-based community that helps women connect with new friends. What started as bi-monthly meetups in Raleigh, NC, has grown into a nationwide network with thousands of women meeting for various in-person events and connecting through an online app. The Wilmington chapter hosts everything from happy hours, dinners and coffee dates to gallery tours, BYO picnics, community walks, movie nights and more.

Meanwhile, the Wilmington Women’s Club is more focused on community service, with a focus on fundraisers for nonprofits that benefit women and children in the Port City area. 

Some other great women’s groups include the 4^th Trimester Mission, Moms Night Out (hosted by Amanda Hofmann of WilmingtonMom), and Not Your Mother’s Social Club (hosted by Port City Book Club).

Men’s Interest

The Cape Fear Men’s Club is an activity-oriented social organization that provides venues for pursuing common interests and making new friends in the area. Current CFMC Activity Groups include Biking, Book Group, Bowling, Bridge, Cigar Group, Cultural Events, Current Events, Financial Investing, Fishing, Golf, Hiking, Kayaking, Live Music, Photography, Poker, Shooting, Tennis, Wine Tasting, etc. Other culinary-related groups include High Nooners (luncheon speakers), Breakfast Bunch, Early Riser Breakfast, Lunch Bunch, and BBB (Beer, Burgers & Buddies).

Animals

PAWS for People has several volunteering options, with or without a pet of your own. “I have met lifelong friends and found a purpose volunteering for @paws4people,” says Maureen Ferguson Lewis (vis Instagram). 

There are too many local nonprofits to list here that could serve that purpose for you. Again, this list is not exhaustive but aims to spark inspiration, even if that leads you to discover something we may have missed or motivates you to create a group of your own.